what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
