i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
