They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
