Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
