Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
