she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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