She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
