where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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