I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
