I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
