Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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