I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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