We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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