look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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