My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize