Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
