I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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