I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
