That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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