i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
