her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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