I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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