I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
