Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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