I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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