This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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