i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
