i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
