I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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