Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i think i just lost a toe
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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