Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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