We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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