im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
