it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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