If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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