The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
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In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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