you traded sex for a burrito?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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