When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
