I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
