Soap is not a condiment
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
