batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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