my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
