Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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