What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
