What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
