i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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