if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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