Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
should my penis look like a turkey
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
