I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
