new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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