i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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