NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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