Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize