i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
