She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
