i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
