We won't sleep together?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize