coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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