Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Still dying that you shit outside
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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