i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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