my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
