Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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