I feel great
I just peed on a car
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize