Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize